Ben Lee ’24 on small actions, big swings, and what Rumsey gave him
When Ben thinks about how he became the student body president at Choate Rosemary Hall, he doesn’t begin with a campaign strategy, a polished speech, or a long list of accomplishments.
He begins with the little things.
“Saying hi to people, holding doors, picking up trash,” he said. “I think those small things added up.”
To Ben, those small actions aren’t just habits. They’re part of a way of being that began at Rumsey Hall, specifically, in the dining hall, as a senior prefect for Mrs. Giese’s table. Stack the dishes, wipe the table, push the chairs in. Repeat.
“Teachers always emphasized, this is how you should act on a daily basis,” he said. “A habit formed, and I just lived that way.”
That habit followed him to Choate. The transition wasn’t easy, bigger school, new environment, and academics that hit hard from day one. But Rumsey had prepared him for exactly that. “Rumsey academics are no joke,” he said. “It was really rigorous.” And the preparation he carried went beyond the coursework itself. Rumsey had also taught him to ask questions and seek extra help from those around him, especially his teachers. At Choate, those instincts mattered as much as anything he’d studied.
“Sometimes people are afraid to ask questions to teachers, and they struggle getting the material by themselves,” he said. “But Rumsey taught me how to ask questions without being afraid.” More than once at Choate, a teacher thanked him for it because other students had the same question and hadn’t spoken up.
Rumsey taught me how to ask questions without being afraid.” – Ben Lee ’24
Ben came to Rumsey from Korea, and no one in his family had ever studied in the US. The decision to try a boarding school wasn’t simple. His English was still developing. The culture was unfamiliar. He wouldn’t have his parents with him.
But he’d been looking for something different. Back home, he said, the academic culture left little room for what he actually loved. “Every day I wanted to go out and play with friends,” he said. “But they were all going to tutoring.”
At Rumsey, he found both challenge and possibility. His first years in ESL with Ms. Dufresne put him in a room with students from China, Japan, Afghanistan, Mexico, and Spain, and that classroom became about far more than English. “I was so desperate to learn anything I could about culture, people, the language,” he said. That mindset stuck.
Soccer helped build something in him too. He came up through Junior Blue, made Varsity B in seventh grade, and played Varsity in eighth and ninth. One game still stands out: late in his eighth-grade season, Rumsey traveled to Hotchkiss to face IMS, a team they hadn’t beaten in five years, one that had already beaten them at home that same season. This time, Ben started. “I played so well,” he said. “We won 3-2. Everyone was going crazy. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.” He was named captain the following year.
Leadership, for Ben, seems to have grown gradually through moments like clearing tables, asking questions, learning from classmates, playing on teams, choosing to step into something even when he wasn’t sure.
The decision to run for Choate’s student body president tested all of it.
Choate students had to declare: president or vice president. Ben’s first instinct was to step back. A close friend had served in student government for two years, done great work and made real change. “I was like, can I even win?” Ben said. “Maybe he deserves it more than me.” But another thought kept returning. “I would regret this my whole life. Even if I won vice president, I would think … maybe I should have run for president. Maybe I could have won it.”
He didn’t want that maybe following him around. A week before the election, he called Mr. Anderson — a teacher and coach during Ben’s time at Rumsey, and now the school’s Associate Director of Advancement.
“He was like, ‘Go for it,'” Ben said. He laughs. “I wanted him to say that. I knew what I wanted.” He ran. He won.
When asked to define what makes Rumsey’s approach work — that balance between rigor and something harder to name — Ben paused.
“There’s rigor because there’s a warm environment,” he said. “The warm environment is what allows Rumsey to push students and help them reach their fullest potential.”
His advice to current Rumsey students comes from that same place.
“Put yourself out there,” he said. “Try everything during your time.”
Rumsey, he believes, is the kind of place where students can experiment while surrounded by people who want them to grow. That won’t always be true later, he said. Opportunities get harder to reach. Fear of failure gets louder.
“Be vulnerable in those new opportunities,” he said. “Running for president was really vulnerable. Coming to Rumsey was really vulnerable. But in both, I always learned.”
Everything, he said, starts from that attitude.
At Choate, Ben is still living out the lessons he first practiced at Rumsey. Say hello. Hold the door. Ask the question. Clear the table. Take the chance.
Small things, he has learned, have a way of adding up.
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